Door knocking and Street Stopping.

Interestingly Korea is one of only a hand full of countries where Christianity is increasing. Not due to a spat of revelations cascading Korean society as some might hope. It seems that as the tribal religions of shamanism and ancestor worship fetter away, in the countryside and urban areas Christians are actively out on patrol to snap all those who seem disaffected with modern liberty. The present democratic freedoms were only installed in 1988, and as far as I can tell the christian church prior to this was significant in it's support for greater individual freedom.

Last year I would return home from work to find posters stuck to my door of either Jesus's flailed carcass, blood streaked face or his playful adventures with rabbits, birds, and children. On entering the subway I would be handed coffee sweets along with the latest leaflet on reasons to join the church. I happen to dislike both coffee sweets and junk-mail. So I knew what to expect on my return.I have been in Korea less than one month and I have had Christians at my door numerous times, and on Monday it was the Jehovah's' turn. :S.

The first time the Christians came I was happily lounging in my underwear and playing computer games on a slightly hazy Saturday afternoon. I'm pretty sure it was Mario Kart, although I can't be precise on that detail. I heard the 'ding-dong-rat-ta-tat-tat....ding dong' of my neighbour's door. I know there are only two sets of people who ring doors like that in Korea. Gas readers and bible-bashers. I contemplated muting the TV and moving into the bathroom to dispense of last nights festivities but I decided it could be the gas-man or I could just pretend I don't speak any Korean. I got dressed just in time to hear the ding-dong and the preceding knock that suggests 'I know you are in there so don't even try to pretend your out'

'Anyoung Ha-seyo' I attempt as I open the door. First mistake, my plan of no speeke hangook-eee has been undermined by my own friendliness. 'ooo-ooo' then a pause. The two cheerful old bats look at each other for a few seconds before the smaller one with a top knot uses the international form of making a question. Using one word, raising her eyebrows and nodding in encouragement. 'Krish-jan???' (Christian???)
I politely decline the offer of a theological debate in a language in which my small vocabulary consists of crude body parts, 'banana milk' and the verbs; go, come, and give me. 'No, but thank you!'. Before I can close the door she thrusts me a leaflet and smiles. 'Ok, thanks, maybe next time'
'Next time' she responds ',,,,ok'
Ah shit...the one word she understands in English she has interpreted as come back next time. Ah well I'll just have to be out when they call again.

Unluckily, on the way to work the next day I ran into them at the apartment entrance. However after the previous encounter I did some homework. Uncomfortably atheist and infidel mean the same thing in Korean. They giggle together like two schoolgirls, which was quite fun actually, before one of them stopped me and asked me to read from their book. It was happy Jesus with a baby girl this time. I'll be polite and entertain them for a few minutes before trying out my new phrase. The passage was about how traditionally women have been undermined in society but the Lord created both men and women equal and gave the Earth to both men an women to enjoy. With the love of Christ we can bring both sexes together in harmony.
Wow, what a potent message for Korea. In my personal opinion I think there continues to be some inequality between the sexes in Korea. I personally believe in the equality of right for all people. However I have never found this message in the Church. Just look at it's present echelons. It not only completely disregards the opinion of women but in many ways seems to have a deep seated mistrust of the female sex. Anyways, moving on. I try my new phrase. 'Cho noon moo shin ron ja imnida'. Well they took it well. A sad 'awww-ing' noise followed by more leaflets. I try to explain that I agree men and women are created equal but it doesn't seem to garner me any less pity.

The following Sunday it was the Jehovahs' turn. I open the door to two older men in black suits. At first I'm not sure who they are and it's made worse by the claim that they are my neighbours. As the younger one at the front, in his 40s, steps forward in attempt to enter my flat, before i have said much more than 'Hi' I decide to stand my ground.The buffeting of his entrance is made more awkward by the rebounding of the older man who was trying to follow him in. I ask them if they are a business to which they reply 'kind of' and hand me two magazines which I can already sense will offer me salvation, magazines!!!! In Korean!!! I ask them again, can I help you?'

The novice steps back and the older man takes the lead. 'Are you US army?'. I explain I am an English teacher and offer no more insights to end the impending silence. 'We are Jahobasss witnessuu'
'Ok that's it, I'm done. It's Sunday I'm relaxing, you have no right to come knocking on my door, least of all to try and walk inside without my permission.' I thought. I said nothing actually. In hope they were finished after gaging my reaction. 'I send my daughter for English lesson?'

Now your talking, business. I will happily teach anyone who needs it. 'Ok' I say,and he offers to send her round the next day.

Well she hasn't come yet, and if she does I hope she doesn't think I'm running a charity here. I wish I could but I got bills to pay.

NB* I suppose if someone really did believe everyone would burn in hellfire for all eternity unless they agreed with them, then they would do everything they could do to save them. Unfortunately, these claims to extraordinary revelations need extraordinary evidence. Until then it doesn't give them the right to disturb peoples private lives and use eternal damnation as a threat to gather funds and followers.